One of the first things we ask a new client at their consultation is “why are you here?”
It cuts straight to the point. It shows that we want to help someone with a goal, and it often makes someone think a little more about the specifics.
We’ve had some interesting answers to that question.
“I’m sick of feeling like crap, tired all the time”
“My Mum/Dad died young and I don’t want my kids to go through that”
“I’m tired of being skinny/fat/unfit”
“I’m getting left behind in my sport and need to strengthen/get faster”
We’ve also had other reasons we can’t really reveal, but suffice to say we’ve had clients with serious illnesses, serious time pressures or very tight deadlines to achieve set goals.
These people usually, not always, but usually, do well.
The ones who don’t? Well, they sound a little more like:
“My husband/wife thinks I should lose weight”
“My kids nag me because I can’t run around with them”
“I want to get ripped for my summer holiday in two months”
“Erm, I don’t know. Just get a bit fitter?”
The difference should be obvious. The first group want it. They really, really want it. Some NEED it. They don’t need to live/breath/die for it…but they do actually care. They want to achieve something.
The second group think they want it. They want to satisfy other people, or think they probably should be doing something about it, but aren’t that bothered yet.
Think about the smoker who’s always quitting next month, versus the one who just….stops. No drama. Just quits and moves on. Commitment and actually having a reason are the difference.
It’s OK if you’re doing it for someone else. But that person’s opinion has to matter to you immensely. When it gets tough, it’s too easy to let someone else down; it’s harder to give up on yourself, and your own reasons. Everyone thinks it’s the other way around, but in training, we see it time and time again – the reason, the why, has to come from YOU.
What’s your reason? What matters to you?
For me? I like to look half-decent. I like being strong for my size and weight. I like the idea of beating other people in competition. I like that a lot of my clients look up to my achievements. All of that stuff matters to me, and it keeps me turning up through injuries, through tough times and when I just can’t be bothered. I still turn up, because my “why” matters.
Are you losing weight because you think you should, but you’re actually pretty happy as you are? You need a different reason. Losing weight for a partner/society won’t last beyond the first few weeks.
Are you bulking up because you think that’s what women want (here’s a tip: most women don’t actually care that much about abs on a partner)? Or because it’s what YOU want, to feel more confident, to take your top off on holiday and feel OK about yourself? That’s a valid reason! It’s narcissistic, but who cares? We all have a little bit of narcissism in us; it’s nothing to feel ashamed about. It’s natural.
Don’t wait to find your reason, your why. Think about it and work out why you’re doing this stuff.
Once you find it, and you know it’s YOURS, not someone else’s, chances are you’ll stick to it, you work for it…and you’ll bloody deserve it when you get there.